All over the place doesn’t even begin to illustrate how I’ve been feeling these past couple of weeks. Ooooh b*tch, the mental health game is playing a hard one right now. I’m trying to steer as far away as I can from a depressive pity party though, because A) I’ve had enough of them B) nobody will benefit from it and C) in the long run it’ll only make matters worse. Instead I am focussing my brain on all the positive goings on in my life right now: like autumn. Oh yes thats right, my favourite time of the year has arrived. September 23rd rolled around (the first official day of autumn) and there was a crispness in the air, leaves appeared more golden overnight, cosy jumpers, scarves and coats called to me as I got ready for work and I emerged from my dwelling a brand new, shining, autumn goddess.
Okay yes, I may have slightly over exaggerated that last part. I’m not so much an “autumn goddess” and in fact resemble more likeliness to a pale, shrivelled mole rat that hasn’t been out in the sun in 3 months. However this pale, shrivelled mole rat still loves autumn – she actually thrives in it – which is why today I wanted to talk about why it makes me feel this way.
I realise it is rather “basic” to love autumn (cut to a collection of Pinterest boards showcasing Ugg boots, red and orange leaves, carved pumpkins, braided hair, cosy leggings, sparklers, and of course, the iconic pumpkin spice lattes) but something about this time of year makes me feel at ease. I struggle through summer, this year I sat out in the sun for less than 2 hours in an attempt to get some form of a “tan” (bearing in mind I haven’t done this in the 20 years of my existence) and I got so sunburnt that I couldn’t shower without being in ridiculous pain. I despise the heat, all the bugs (e.g midges, wasps, daddy long legs and literally every species of fly) are literal Satan’s with wings and whoever invented shorts can quite frankly get lost – I won’t be displaying my knees anytime soon. I guess some of it is alright, like eating copious amounts of ice cream just because it’s hot, wearing cute summer dresses (yeah because I totally do that all the time) and not having to worry if you need an umbrella that day, but for me, the negatives outweigh the positives.
Autumn gives me this innate sense of comfort, like the feeling of a familiar big hug after a difficult day accompanied by a warm mug of tea, and a shortbread biscuit – it just makes sense. I feel my happiest when wrapped in multiple layers (vest, t-shirt, jumper, coat, scarf, gloves, hat – the full monty), I get that the cold isn’t for everyone and I admit sometimes it is pretty brutal, but I adore it nonetheless. Nothing quite compares to autumn celebrations, like Halloween and Bonfire night, the excitement builds in me as I count down the days just like a giddy child waiting for their birthday, or for father Christmas to visit them down their chimney. I cannot wait until I’m standing in a slightly muddy field on colder than planned evening, surrounded by hundreds of people as the giant burning bonfire warms our chilly faces, and we eagerly wait for the exploding firework show to fill the skies.
I really wish I was better at expressing my love for things. I had a plan for this post (though it really doesn’t seem like it), I envisioned beautiful, eloquently written paragraphs spilling out my love for my favourite season of the year. What I neglected to remember though is that when I love something, I become quite shit at explaining why. What I’ve written today barely even scratches the surface of how autumn makes me feel, but if I were to carry on trying to explain it we would, and this is no exaggeration, be here until springtime. So instead, I’ll just leave you with this short list of reasons why I love autumn:
- Cold weather
- Dark, cosy evenings
- Halloween (aka spoopy season)
- Bonfire night, duh
- Autumn scented candles (I recently purchased “pure pumpkin” and oh my, it is heaven in a jar)
- Dogs in little winter coats
- Orange and brown tones
- It’s socially acceptable to wear the biggest, cosiest jumpers you own all the time and look like a marshmallow
- Fallen leaves
- Pretending to be a dragon with warm breath on a cold morning
- My favourite faux fur coat (just as extra as it sounds)
- Festive hot drinks every time you leave the house
- Pumpkins (need I explain more, look how cute they are)
- Film nights, film nights and more film nights
Okay I’m done.
Keep shining, see you next time